Underneath the same blue sky
by Linda-previouslyMissyMaura
Summary: Ive changed some of chapter 4 cos it didnt make sense so hopefully it's a bit better now. R&R. Sam and Alex on the road- where will it lead them.
1. Default Chapter

Underneath the same blue sky

Post season 10 finales. Sam and Alex, on the road. Where will it lead them?

I know I don't own these guys, I so wish I did. But I do own Sam's relations.

I'm sorry if I get any medical stuff wrong. I only know one person with diabetes and he moved to Canada. So, if I get the sugar levels or something, I didn't mean to.

I don't know if Sam has any relations, whether they speak to her or anything so I've made them up for the purpose of my story.

The songs featured are 'Angel' by Sarah McLachlan and 'Heavy on my heart' by Anastacia.

_Spend all your time waiting_

_For that second chance_

_For a break that would make it okay_

_There's always one reason_

_To feel not good enough_

_And it's hard at the end of the day_

_I need some distraction_

_Oh beautiful release_

_Memory seeps from my veins_

_Let me be empty_

_And weightless and maybe_

_I'll find some peace tonight_

ST

"Pack your stuff Alex."

"No." He looks up at me, daring me to scream and shout at him. But I have no energy, so I zip up my case and begin on his.

"Don't touch that." He shouts as I pick up an unmarked envelope.

"Why not?" I say, knowing my son and his things.

"It's private, that's why!" I flip up the unsealed flap and pull out a small wad of photos. Turning them over in my hands, I see my own face smiling back at the camera, one arm encircling Luka's waist. The next one is of Alex holding a fish, the next of Luka

playing ball with Alex at night. They're from our camping trip.

"Why do you have these Alex?"

"Because I was happy then." He takes them off me and puts them back in the envelope, frowning.

"Just...uh, pack your stuff." I sigh, and walk out into the 'living area'. Grabbing a few things, I chuck our wash stuff into a bag. Alex is slowly packing his stuff, grumbling the whole time but I don't listen anymore. This whole thing has worn me out. I wander out onto the balcony and watch early morning birds flit across the horizon, trying find some source of energy from somewhere in my body.

"Come on Alex, we're off." I call to him. "Before we go, check your sugar levels." He frowns but pulls out the kit, pricks his finger and drops the blood onto the strip.

"6." He says, quietly. "Can't we stay here for a bit longer?"

"No, we have to get to Grandma's before Thursday."

"That's a whole 2 days away."

"Yes, but it's also a whole 4000 miles away." He shuts up and yanks the case off the bed. I pick up mine and we make our way to the desk.

"Thanks, room 17."

"That's $80." I jerk my head up, shocked but try to pretend I'm not. "Anything wrong, ma'am?"

"No, no." I pull out my credit card. I shouldn't, but I've got to. The boy behind the desk smiles, swipes the card and asks me to sign. Without thought, I sign and get my card back. Within seconds we're at car.

"You get in, remember to belt up." I pop open the trunk; throw our cases in and bang it shut. Moving to the door, I slide in and realise I'm exhausted already and it's barely even 8am. "Let's get moving then, kiddo." I turn the key and look over at my son who, in an attempt to get the furthest away from me possible, is scrunched up in the corner of his seat, knees to chin with his hat skimming his eye brows. "Alex, don't even try it."

"Don't try what?" He asks, sarcasm dripping from every letter.

"You know. Now, quit it. I don't need it today."

"Fine." He curls up tighter, further into the corner. I press the lock key on the panel and hear them drop down, keeping my son from accidentally opening the door. I've been terrified about it ever since my brother leant against the door too hard when we were kids.

"Hey Alex, you get to see Uncle Dave." I try to sound chirpy.

Silence.

"He'll play ball with you."

"Luka plays ball with me. Better than Uncle Dave does."

"Don't be rude. Uncle Dave is fine at ball. And anyway, I'm sure if you ask Todd, he'll play too." I fake-smile.

"Mom, Todd is 18, he hates me."

"He doesn't!" My nephew is...uncommunicative at times. It comes from being my sister, Tara's kid.

"Everyone in your family hates me. Except Gramma and that's only cos she's gotta like me."

I have to admit, that last comment makes me think a little. My family used to be so conventional: Church every Sunday, all sitting round the table for meals, talking about everything.

Until it came to 'that'.

The day I told them I was pregnant, their world fell apart. My dad left, saying it was too much, my mom started on the anti-depressants and never came off. My brothers avoided me more than ever and my sisters switched between regarding me as a piece of filth and asking loads of questions. Tara had already left home; she was married with two kids, but Clare and Verity were amazed I was going through with it.

Little did they know I had already tried to **_not_** go through with it. I had decided that I would see how they all reacted before going again. And I swore if they reacted badly I would go for the termination.

And I did. And it was too late. But I realised pretty soon after, that nothing would be the same with them, this baby was the only chance. I could start again, work hard and save money.

And so in part what Alex said was true. My family didn't like him, or more the concept he embodied; that the Taggart family weren't 'respectable' anymore.

"It doesn't matter Alex, you've still got to be polite. Show them I brought you up well."

He doesn't say anything.

_Try to fly away but it's impossible_

_And every breath gives birth to deeper sighs_

_And for a moment I am weak so it's hard for my to speak_

_Even though we're underneath the same blue sky._

_And the canvas of my mind sings songs I left behind. _

_Like pretty flowers and a sunset._

__

AT

Mom doesn't know what it's like, to know your family hate you.

I mean, obviously **_she_** loves me, but I mean everyone else. Uncle Dave, Uncle Simon, Aunt Tara, Aunt Clare, Aunt Verity, Todd, Beth, Louie, Kyan, Karina, Gramma.

Okay, so Karina is only 2, so I don't know if she hates me yet, and Gramma is okay but I see it when she speaks to me. I'm not the same as my cousins. They're _whole_ kids, born in wedlock (I heard Gramma say that last Christmas to Aunt Verity).

I know when I'm mean about her family, it upsets mom but sometimes she really annoys me. I mean, dad turns up and says he's willing to get back with her, to look after me with her, like a family which would have been so cool. Then she goes and pushes him away, and then runs off. She can be so stupid sometimes.

We've been travelling for 1 day so far, and we've got another 2 to go. I was _really_ mad to start off but slowly I stopped being really mad and just stayed being slightly mad.

I never wanted to leave Chicago, I had finally made friends, and I was having sleepovers and going to Waterworld and things. And mom had Luka, who is way cool!

Now that's all gone and I'm stuck in a car with mom, going to see a bunch of people I really wish I wasn't.

I fall asleep for a while, and when I wake up we're drawing into a gas station.

"Alex, what do you want to eat?"

"Nothing."

"Alex." She snaps and I look over at her, shocked. "You know you have to eat regularly otherwise ..."

"I'll get sick. I know! I'll have a sandwich and some candy." Mom sighs and gets out the car, locking it behind her. This means I can't move cos it'll set the alarm off. I swear she does it on purpose sometimes, to stop me getting into a mess. She fills with gas and strolls into the station. I see her pick up some food and pay for it and the gas before strolling back to me.

"There you go." She chucks an egg salad sandwich onto my lap, along with a bottle of still water.

"No candy?" I push her. She doesn't even bother to reply; she just takes a bite from her food and starts the car. "Are we nearly there?"

"No. It's another 2 or 3 hours til the next decent motel."

"Decent? Since when did we stay in decent motels? That last one stunk of mould and pee. The TV didn't work and there was no pool."

"Please Alex." Suddenly her voice sounds tired and I realise she hardly slept at all last night. "This is hard enough already, please don't try guilt tripping me." She rubs her face and pulls out into the stream of traffic, chewing on her lower lip. I bite into my sandwich and chew in silence, regretting pushing her so far. I never mean to upset her, make her feel guilty or hurt her.

I never wanna hurt her.

Hope you enjoyed it. Sorry for the length but I couldn't cut it off before. Please push that button on the left.

Go on.

Please. Even if it's a bad review I'll take it in my stride :0)


	2. You don't get spots

Underneath the same blue sky

Part 2

_So tired of the straight line_

_And everywhere you turn_

_There are vultures and thieves at your back_

_And the storm keeps on twisting_

_You keep on building the lies_

_That you make up for all that you lack_

_It don't make no difference_

_Escaping one last time_

_It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh_

_This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees_

__

ST

It's dark when we draw up to the motel. I wanted to get here around 4 but we had to stop twice cos Alex needed to use the bathroom and then we got lost. A few times I pull into the car park and turn off the engine.

Alex is fast asleep in his seat, the chair tilted back with a blanket tucked under his chin.

"Hey Alex, wake up." I touch his shoulder gently. He stirs but doesn't wake up. "Kiddo, wakey wakey." I laugh as he snuffles and buries his head in the blanket. "Come on then."

I get out my door and go round to his side. Scooping his little body into my arms, I lock the door and go into the reception.

"Hi, could I have a double room. Two single beds."

"Sorry ma'am, the only rooms we have are single rooms with sofas or a double bed."

"He's my son, I'll take the double." The girl nods and taps in my details. "Could I have some help with my cases?"

A spotty teenage boy follows me to the car and unloads our cases. He leads me to the room and deposits the cases just inside the door and rushes off. Alex is half awake by now, but taking the chance to be carried around and so he keeps his eyes shut.

I'm surprised that he's letting me carry him in the mood he's been in the last two days. I do worry that pulling him away from a home every couple of months may not be so good but I know the consequences of staying and letting Steve infiltrate our lives.

I was stupid enough to find out when I was 17.

I was living in a small rented flat with an unruly toddler, earning just enough to keep him in nappies and with enough food. Suddenly, as if by magic, Steve turns up on the doorstep, 25 and unemployed. I thought he had come to rescue me, come to be a family with us.

2 months later, with even less money available I realised all he wanted was a roof over his head, food and a little...pleasure on the side. So, I asked him to leave, he kicked up a fuss, then left but stole all my savings at the same time.

This meant I had to beg my mother to let me stay so I could save the rent money to buy clothes for Alex. I cried every night for 3 weeks for the love I'd lost. Looking back, it's so easy to see how I'd managed to get pregnant, thinking Steve loved me and would look after me and the baby.

I lay Alex on the bed and hear the springs squeak. I hate myself for bringing him here, but there's no other choice.

Leaving him on the bed, I drag the cases into the room and pull out our nightclothes.

"Alex, you've got to wake up. You gotta brush your teeth." I shake him til he opens his eyes.

"Okay, okay. Just quit the shaking." He frowns as he sits up and yawns. Still groggy he shuffles into the bathroom, cleans his teeth, washes his face and even checks his sugar without me nagging. I clean my teeth and cleanse my face which makes him look at me funny.

"It's so I don't get spots."

_I've had my share of pain_

_And I've tasted pain_

_I never thought I'd touch an angel's wing_

_There's a journey in my eyes_

_It's getting hard for me to hide_

_Like the ocean at the sunrise._

__

AT

"It's so I don't get spots." Mom says as I look at her.

"You don't get spots." I note.

"Exactly. This works." She smiles and holds up the bottle like a commercial.

"Can I use some? I think I have a spot coming." I joke, pointing at a freckle. Mom smiles.

"Just don't grow up too quick Kiddo. Okay?" I nod. "Done? Right, bed." She shoos me back into the bedroom.

"Ew, do I have to sleep in the same bed as you?"

"Yes. That used to be the only place you slept when you were about 10 months."

"Well I'm 10 _years_ now."

"Bed! And don't hog the cover."

We change into our sleep stuff with our backs to each other and I get into bed, feeling very sleepy. Mom gets in the other side and turns off the lamp. I hear her sigh and turn my head to look at the dark patch where I think she is.

"Mom. Why did we leave?" She sighs again.

"Because...I want you to have a normal life. And if Steve...your dad settled with us, that's one thing you wouldn't have got."

"But he was cool. He gave me candy and chips."

"Yes but what happened that night? Who was up all night rubbing your back as you puked up all those candies and chips?" I feel her hand brushing a strand of hair out my eyes. "There are a few things you want for your child when it's born. One is for them to be healthy. And well, I didn't exactly get that. Another is for them to have the best life possible. And I've tried my hardest to give you that. And another one is for your child to stay the right side of the law. I don't want you smoking dope at 11, doing coke at 18. I don't want you to be like your dad."

"He did all that?" I'm sort of shocked. Coke? Heroin?

"Erm...yeah. He was 23 when I met him. The coke was only very rarely but...the dope was most nights."

"I don't want to do any of that. I've heard what it does to you." I say earnestly. (One of my new words!)

"Good. Now, sleep mister."

Thanks to the reviewers: Hoeft, NaomiP and MrsClooney, and for your corrections. I now know about the sugar levels and the correct distances in America so I shall try and get them right from now on.

I don't know anything about Steve's drug habits so I made them up. Hoping it's never been mentioned but if it has, I apologise.

So, thanks again and review away!!!


	3. Can we take a pee stop

ST

"Mom. 


	4. I think we will have to swim!

AT

We've moved so much over the last few years that if I try and remember every apartment we lived in, I can only remember about 4. But every time, we've moved away from dad.

I don't see what's so bad about having him around. He spoils me, he's nice to me and he treats mom like a princess. Maybe she doesn't want to be a princess anymore. She told me her dad used to call her that, so I'm guessing she just wants to be normal for a while.

We're stuck in traffic and it's getting hot. I start to play my favourite car game-Find the out-of-state number plates. I'm trying to see all the state plates. I have 38 at the moment.

It takes about an hour and a half but we finally stop at a motel. It looks like the best one yet; the sign outside has all it letters still attached. We get a room and while mom sorts out the beds and has a shower I watch TV.

_I wanna kick at the machine  
That made you piss away your dreams  
And tear at your defences  
Till there's nothing there but me  
You're angry when you're beautiful  
Your love is such tease  
I'm drowning in your dizzy noise  
I wanna feel you scream_

ST

It's the third night on the road and I'm getting tired. I'm tired of straight grey roads, I'm tired of crappy food and crappy beds, I'm tired of battling with Alex one minute and laughing the next.

I'm tired of being scared that Steve will catch up with us.

I had so many dreams when I was younger. I haven't achieved any of them- but I got pretty damn close. Okay, so I admit, having Alex wasn't in there but I wanted to be a doctor and live in a big city like New York. So what that I'm a nurse and I had to settle for Chicago: property prices were good there.

I'm nervous about seeing my family, especially Dad. He went back to mom just after I left for New Jersey when Alex is about 1, and I haven't really spoken to him. I stopped going for Christmas or Thanksgiving when he made it clear we weren't welcome unless we stayed in a motel. He said he was done with babies after Verity was born and Alex cried too loud.

We should arrive about 2pm tomorrow. Mom said Dad is going on a fishing trip for a week, but he hopes I'll stay so I can see him again.

I think mom added the end bit.

It's strange how I suddenly feel like a kid again. Returning to my parents after doing something naughty, except that 'something naughty' is right behind me and he's in a sulk again.

I'm 26, I'm a mother and I have my own apartment but the prospect of visiting my family has reduced me to sixteen again.

Alex sighs in his sleep and rolls over, getting very close to the edge of the bed. I decide to leave him and hope he doesn't roll off. I'm too tired to bother tonight really, my eyelids are drooping already. Scooping my curls into a messy bun I slip between the covers and switch off the lamp. Within minutes I'm off, dreaming.

AT

I yawn and roll over, stretching. And find myself in a tangle on the floor with a bump on my head. Great.

"Did you roll?" I hear mom ask, trying to hide the laughter.

"Yes I rolled. Now I have a bump on my head. It's huge!!!"

"Well, we better hope it's not concussion 'cause I was away the day we have the concussion lecture. I _think_ you had colic that day. Or was it an ear infection?" Her smiling face appears over the side of the bed. "Come here, I'll check." She pulls my bangs back and looks at the bump, running her finger over it. "Think you're fine, just a bit bruised."

"Better not be concussion." I mumble, heading for the bathroom. Mom tuts and starts to get dressed.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I've sat for the last half an hour with my nose pressed up against the window, pulling faces at the kids in the car next to us. We've sat in a traffic jam for the last forty-five minutes with nothing but junior travel chess and half an egg sandwich. The rain is now bouncing off the road and I'm slightly worried we may have to swim to Gramma's.

Suddenly a man taps on our window.

"Excuse me Miss; sorry about the delay, there's been an accident. The paramedics are on their way so we'll get you moving soon."

"Really? Let me grab my coat. I'm an ER nurse, I can help."

The man smiles broadly and mom pulls her coat off the back seat and get out of the car. I'm left to pull faces at the kids again.

ST

I run in between the cars until I see the crash. It looks pretty bad, the policeman says 16 people were involved and I can see 5 walking around.

"Hi, I'm Sam Taggert. I'm an ER nurse in Chicago."

"Miss, help me. I can't find my daughter." A man in his late 30's dashes over, holding some gauze over a cut on his temple. I smile and peel back the gauze, checking the wound.

"That cut looks deep. You'll need it stitched."

"What I need is my daughter." He frowns then winces.

"Let me look at your cut and then I'll look for your daughter." I pull away the gauze, clean the wound and stick a dressing to his head. The minute I take my hands away from him, he rushes off. I suppose I'd be like that if Alex was missing.

I make my way over to a woman holding a small child. The lady has numerous cuts on her face, arms and what appears to be her torso if the amount of blood on her shirt is anything to go by. The little boy in her arms has a bruise on his cheek and looks sleepy.

"Hello, I'm Sam Taggert. I'm an ER nurse."

"Please help him. Don't let them find him." She shoves the boy into my arms and runs off. I stare after her in shock, wondering who on earth 'they' are, until the baby in my arms wriggles and begins to cry quietly. Realising he's getting soaking wet I unzip my jacket, move him under and zip it back up so his head is left poking out. There's nowhere I can put him so I keep him under my coat and head off to find more medical supplies.

"I need some more gauze, dressings and gurneys." The policeman hands me another bag of supplies and lets his eyes rest on the little head in my jacket. "A lady handed him to me, told me not to let 'them' find him and ran off. One of the officers pursued her; don't know whether he found her." The policeman nods but takes the baby from me, looking confused. I shake my head and laugh before heading off towards a car.

I peer in the window, searching for life. I can see children's toys and a pair of pink shoes but no people.

"Move away." The breath on my neck is hot yet it sends shivers down my spine. Suddenly I realise I can feel the cold butt of a gun prodded into my back and a large hand holding my arms to my side. "Come with me and I won't hurt you." He practically wrenches my arms from its socket as he pulls me around.

"Sam." I slowly look up into the face of the gunman and gasp. Steve peers down, his eyes bloodshot. I can smell alcohol and smoke on his breath and I realise he's stoned.

"What are you doing Steve?"

"Getting my son." Out the corner of my eye I see movement. Without jerking I swivel my head so I can see what's happening. Steve is pushing me to move behind the car parked on the shoulder but what scares me is the fact that one man has broken away from the crowd and is inching back through the traffic.

What does Steve mean 'getting my son'? If he's here then...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -


End file.
